Being a Grown-Up
Tuesday, July 29, 2003
Tonight, tonight...
...is my last night in Worcester! Most of it will be spent flexing my rippling muscles as Scott and I load our stuff into the trailer (read: I carry all the heavy stuff singlehandedly while he sits in a chaise lounge sipping lemonade and barking directions. A real tyrant, that boy.) In honor of the city where I've spent the better part of these last four years, I dedicate the following poem.
An Ode to Worcester
Oh, Worcester, Massachusetts,
You're so misunderstood
The four years that I spent with you
Were really pretty good!
The Worcester folk, they aren't so bad,
I'd hang with those cats.
But if they try to crash your party,
just don't call them Woo-rats.
When you're looking to go out
here in the Worcester scene-o,
Just call up our old friend Red Cab
(and hope you don't get Gino!)
There's lots of joints to get a beer,
Plantation works for me,
And if you're under 21?
Just go to Trinity!
And when the drunken munchies come,
there isn't much that's finer
Then going for a late-night run
to any Worcester diner.
Yes, Worcester gave me some good times
But none that were as sweet
As rocking parties that were thrown
At 50 College Street!
I know it's time to move on now
to a place that's bigger and newer
But I know sometimes, late at night,
I'll miss this little sewer.
Friday, July 25, 2003
Greetings, fair readers! (In other words, hi Lindsay and no-comment-posting Scott!) Currently, I'm trapped in the confines of the sweet Dinand Library because the landlord is slated to stop by the apartment, and she thinks that Scott lives alone and just happens to have a vast array of girly possessions. I mean, what red-blooded bachelor doesn't have framed pictures everywhere, sparkly jeans, and flute music strewn about?
But I digress. The real purpose of this particular post is to implore you, my trusted readers, for movie recommendations. Lately, Scott and I seem to be striking out with our rental choices. The worst of the batch was Sunshine State, a long, rambling hulk of a movie that never came together and made me want to chew my own arm off. (I should have known to avoid it when the Blockbuster box also recommended Magnolia, a movie that remains on my "worst ever" list.) Maybe it's our pretentious, artsy taste getting the better of us: Raising Victor Vargas and Laurel Canyon were mediocre, at best, but Old School (which we probably wouldn't have rented on our own) almost caused me to wet myself laughing. So, have you seen any good movies lately?
Thursday, July 24, 2003
I finally developed my underwater camera from the cruise, and the results sound promising. According to my mother there is "a crotch, an HC speedo, a foot and a turtle, and blurry people underwater." Aww yeah. Roll over, Ansel Adams!
I still don't have a job. I almost had an interview one time, but sadly, I had to decline on the grounds that a) I can't afford another plane ticket to Chicago, b) this particular job certainly wasn't worth the cost of a plane ticket to Chicago, and c) the boss was quite scary. I take comfort in the fact that I recently saw a posting for "Burlesque Dancer" on monster.com. Anyone who knows me well will affirm that it has always been my dream to bring joy to the loins of strange men, preferably of the old, balding, and beer-gutted variety. However, we all know that I don't operate alone in the Burlesque world. Which of my compatriots will join me in a lap-dancing frenzy? Vote for the most likely candidate to become my co-worker in the comments section!
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
Oh, the photoshop possibilities for this guy's picture! I pray to God that someone will find a suitably entertaining way to paste his head onto another body, preferably in a homosexual context. In the meantime, Scott's ever-fitting revenge will have to do: a donation to the ACLU in this guy's name!
Monday, July 14, 2003
Welcome, faithful readers, to my brand spankin' new (and somewhat craptastic) blog. If my laziness doesn't get the better of me, this should prove a great medium for me to post all kinds of exciting information about my hijinks in the big city.
As most of you know by now, I'll be ending my 21-year tenure as a New England resident on August 1st and heading to sweet Chicago, where I intend to (eventually) become a respectable citizen. Currently, I am very unemployed and have no plans or job lined up, but thanks for asking. My immediate goals include overcoming my terrible sense of direction in order to find my way around the city and instilling in strangers an immediate awareness of my bad-assity. I'd also like to procure some furniture for my apartment, find establishments that serve affordable beer, and attempt to find other musicians to play with. Gainful employment may loom on the horizon, provided that someone decides that he or she is willing to hire a former music major with no meaningful prior work experience.
The next few weeks should include lots o' boxes, frustration, and teary goodbyes, but I'll try to check back in here as often as I can. You, dear readers, should certainly do the same.
