Being a Grown-Up
Sunday, October 26, 2003
If you're still out there, then you are to be commended for your dedication, love for me, and good looks. I apologize for the suckitude that is my blog-writing of late, and vow to drop in here more frequently to inspire my stalwart readers with tales of my fast-paced and exciting adventures. Also, I think Rachel is going to kill me in my sleep if I don't start posting more. I take her threats seriously ever since the time she attempted to smother me with a pillow on Christmas Day. A real sweet gal, my murderous sis is.
So, I may be completely insane or a sucker for punishment, but I've decided that this year I'm going to attempt NaNo WriMo. The goal is to write a 50,000 word novel during the month of November. Creative writing is something that I've always wanted to do more of, but something that I probably wouldn't ever get around to without a reason to do it. Deadlines have always been the sole motivating factor for me to get anything done, so that aspect of the event appeals to me. The goal of NaNo WriMo is quantity, not quality, which takes away the impulse to be too critical of my first shot at this sort of thing. As for my subject matter, I'm not entirely sure what that will involve yet. They say to write what you know, so I'm thinking about writing the quintessential coming-of-age novel about college. I don't know if I'll actually be able to meet the 50,000 word goal, but I'm going to try to give it an honest effort. I'll keep you all updated about my progress!
And, finally, I bring you another disparity between my college world and my new grown-up life:
College Girl Talk: "Who's going to the party? Do my boobs look good in this shirt? Who was at the party? Who hooked up with whom at the party? Who was a drunken mess? Do you remember dancing on the bar and trying to make out with Stephen Ainlay?"
Workplace Girl Talk: (NOTE: This conversation is based entirely in an actual event that I happened to be awkwardly present for, and unable and unwilling to participate in.) "I had no idea that my breasts would be able to produce so much milk!" "It's really amazing! You can train your breasts to do anything! I learned how to produce milk only at certain times of the day." "I don't really use a breast pump, though. Did you?"
This week, I was comforted by the fact that I am definitely not enough of a grown-up to handle discussions about breast milk.
Sunday, October 12, 2003
"No thanks!"
From what I hear, Scott's Candid Camera appearance was a brilliant four-second display of comedic mastery. Unfortunately, we were unable to tune in, because we are wannabe granola-crunchin', tree-huggin' hippies with no cable. My mom taped it for us, so we'll get to see Scott's exciting, almost-network TV debut later this week.
The dinner party was a smashing success, if I do say so myself. Nothing was burnt or disgusting, and our guests seemed to enjoy everything we made. And, it wasn't a completely grown-up evening, as we proceeded to get ourselves good and sloshed after the meal. I'll dip my toes in the waters of grown-uppery, but I'm not willing to plunge all the way in just yet and have an entirely respectable evening.
This week: the children arrive for classes. I prepare to feel really old, out of touch, and uncool. Also, if anyone tries to call me "Ms. Trudel", I'm going to cry. I think it's only a matter of time.
Monday, October 06, 2003
In keeping with the theme of this blog, I present to you some things that I've noticed so far about the differences between college life and grown-uppery. If my completely absorbed readers dig it, I may make it a regular feature of this exciting blog!
College Party: Kegger - It's standard fare, really. Long lines to the keg and bathroom, sticky floor, plastic cups as far as the eye can see. Other classic components include a Beirut list that nobody follows, music loud enough to piss off the neighbors, and at least one couple (even if only for that one night) that won't stop with the slobbery PDAs. Food is rarely involved, unless it's in the form of jello shots, a roasted pig, or post-party late night delivery. (Maura's mom once gave her money to buy chips for our parties, and we all thought it was the best joke ever.)
Grown-Up Party: Dinner Party - Fun in a different way. There's still booze, but never from a common source. Plastic cups are replaced with bottles of boy beer and wine glasses. I drink everyone under the table by having three glasses of wine. The music is classy and played quietly in the background in order to stimulate meaningful conversation. Food is the main event. And yes, we're throwing one next week. (I don't know enough people to have a kegger! I'm still fun, I swear!)
College Attire: Casual/Slutty During the daytime, I wore the "I've Given Up On Life" uniform. Sweatpants, sweatshirts, sweaters, and all clothes containing the word "sweat" in the description. Shower before class? Ha! At night, I transformed into SuperSkank. Cleavage, those jeans with a line down the front, lots of Delilah black, and Maura's famous red belt. In that outfit, I was ready to grind with Woo-Rats!
Grown-Up Attire: Business Casual All sensible, all the time. Khakis, black pants, blouses, and nothing that would be inappropriate for the kiddies or invite a sexual harrassment lawsuit.
College Bedtime - "You're not going to bed! Booooo! Stay up, you loser! It's only 4am!"
Grown-up Bedtime - Zzzzzzzz.....
Sunday, October 05, 2003
Smile...
Exciting news, ladies and gents! Not only am I living with a law student, I am also living with a bona fide celebrity! Many of you know Scott, until now famous for operating an illegal speakeasy in his home and drinking the wounded soldiers left at a party after the kegs were kicked. This week, the illustrious young gent moves beyond the realm of stupid party tricks into a slightly more glamorous field: second-rate network television!
On a business trip to California, Scott was duped by the wily bastards at Candid Camera. While checking out from his hotel, he was asked if he'd like to purchase a video of his stay recorded by twenty hidden cameras in his hotel room. While Scott claims that he was skeptical of this wacky premise, his reaction apparently inspired enough hilarity for the producers to include him in an upcoming show. As a bonus, he was also paid a whopping $20 for lending his sassy likeness to the show. Tune in October 12 at 7pm EST (6pm CT) on the PAX network to see Scott's first foray into acting. I've taken the liberty of drafting a bio for the man:
Scott Sanderson, Confused Guy #5 Tonight's performance of Candid Camera represents Scott's exciting television debut! A child of the wilderness, Scott has also appeared in such sultry productions as Calculus Workshop (Tutor), ATI Technologies (Engineer), and Water Polo: Excuse to Wear a Speedo (Scantily Clad Boy #2). Scott would like to thank the many people who have helped him along the way: Jerry Falwell, Jennifer "J-Lo" Lopez, South Park's Jesus Christ, and most importantly, his sexy, intelligent, talented, modest girlfriend Tara. Wahnsinn!
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
There's a new blog in town...
Let's face it, there's nothing like the dull, blue glow of the computer monitor highlighting the many delights of Al Gore's Internet. The Internet: a place where you can settle a drunken bet with the click of google search! The Internet: a place where dirty boys get off to pictures of bare-chested bimbos wearing ten pounds of mascara and sporting dyed blond hair with black roots! The Internet: a place where you can find the blogs of not one, but two Trudels!! That's right, procrastinating readers, now you can feast your eyes on the delights of my lil' sis's blog, and it's guaranteed to be a snarky, irreverant, pee-your-pants-laughing, rollicking good time! Double the Trudel, double the fun. It's the Blogspot way.
